In the beginning of January, I saw the lovely communities getting frightened Los angels Palisades and Eaton were burnt in fire. While I live near Joshua Tree two hours before LA, it seems very familiar to see the lives of friends and strangers in a moment: I lost my apartment in Sunset Park in April 2019, BrooklynA five-alarm fire launched by a careless neighbor, which left the candle burning near the curtain on the day of strong wind. Within a few minutes, the fire broke the roof, causing our 56-unit, six-floor, war-east building.
Now, seeing thousands of Angelino trying to realize their loss, I remember how I rebuilt my life and learned the amazing lessons I learned about accepting community support, mourning and moving forward.
Future loss is as painful as physical and financial loss
I lived in a working and middle-class neighbor of southwest Brooklyn for 17 years in Sunset Park, home to generations of immigrants from Scandinavia, Latin America and China, and I have a bedroom condo for 10 years. I planned it to make it your home forever. When I was at work, I was at work, so my purse and gym bag had only the goods and I did not get any chance to save my cat crackers.
It took time to understand how to mourn. I could mourn the death of crackers, but I was physically safe, and no person died. Unlike some of my neighbors, I had personal property insurance and I could live with my lover at that time. “It’s just the baggage,” told me by the acquaintances with good intentions, but my loss was like a dark hole that had entered my life. Trauma Study Professor Sandra Stark Shields recently noted KCRW That is “like a sudden death of a member of the house losing a family,” and this little sentence helped express the grief in which I was stuck.
When the ash frozen, the damage was assessed, and the repair was estimated, it became clear that the Kondo Board had a lack of adequate insurance coverage and could not afford the reconstruction. We will not get back our home or their equal value. As the reality came to light, I was sad on the future I had dreamed of: an old-fashioned routine of summer park picnic and swimming in public pool and surprised by avoiding the fire of my fifth floor Winter sunset. I was experiencing “vague loss”, by whom was the word coined by Polyin boss In the 1970s, to describe loss without real closing. More than destroying financial or physical security, losing your fictional future, harmonizing has been the most difficult.
I had to be unique about what I want
In the frightening state of the fire, the support of our neighbors through charity campaign, money accumulation and skill sharing enabled me and other building residents to get our immediate assistance. However, it was very difficult to secure what I needed to move forward. After a few weeks, I had a rental apartment, but the furniture was very low; A refrigerator, but no desire to cook; Close walls, and empty books of books. I learned to ask for the necessary specific assistance to establish some kind of “normal status”. My friends have established a gift registry of essential household items, from baking dishes and spatula to pillow and pressure cooker. Others released homemade lentil soup and fresh spices and kitchen like Moldon salt. A fellow writer arranged to send me my favorite books for book lovers Reconstruct my libraryThese liberal actions put me on the ground, and these things remind me of the community support received by me.
Solidarity is energetic, but only goes so far
Although I hardly knew many of my nearest neighbors before the fire broke out, the solidarity between owners and tenants and English, Chinese and Spanish speakers was enforced after that. We Shared resourcesParticipated in community meetings in search of solutions, and regularly checked to support each other through the text and through the text. However, our unity was critical, and broke within a year on the basis of square and language. While I quickly went to live in a nearby rented house, which my personal insurance had paid for a year, others had to go out of the city and later the country, as they did not have enough support. As the residents tried to move forward, the disintegration of our community was a deep and unavoidable damage.
