Parents are constantly looking for their ways to get their To listen to childrenBut many of us focus too much on trying to follow them in the moment instead of creating real long -term cooperation.
I have studied 200 parents and children relationshipsAnd I am a mother myself. I have learned that children listen best when they feel connected. It has a large part of it Emotional security: Knowing that he is respected and has the freedom to express his feelings.
Here are six magic phrases that calm the nervous system of a child and feel natural, which is the real secret to listen to them.
1. ‘I believe you.’
The moment the children felt doubt (“did you do In fact Does it mean to do this? “), Their rescue increases. They transform into self-protection from connections.
Faith is a matter of shame and causes security. When a child feels safe, they can really hear you.
Example:
Baby: “I did not leave the juice on the purpose!”
Parents: “I believe you clean it together.”
You are addressing behavior in an argument.
2. “Let’s find out this together.”
The situation often turns into a deadlock when a parents are just orders to bark. But when children help solve the problem, they are more likely to stick to the solution.
Example:
The child refuses to clean the toy.
Parents: “I see that you don’t want to clean everything anymore. Let’s understand it together. What is the first step?”
You are still catching the border, stopping the power struggles.
3. ‘can you Feel It. I’m right here.’
When the children are overwhelmed, they are in survival mode and the logic does not land. Their nervous system is in fighting-or-ravages, and they need help to regulate their feelings. This phrase values their feelings and assures them that they are not alone, which helps them reset.
Example:
Prescoler has a recession when their tower of blocks fall. “Stop crying, you are overaring,” says: “You can feel it. I am here.”
You are allowing the wave of emotions to pass until they are ready to join again.
4. ‘I am listening. Tell me what is going on. ,
Before a child listens to you, they need to listen. This simple innings of focus before this demand dissolves resistance. When children understand, they stop trying to push back.
Example:
Baby: “I’m never playing with my brother again!”
Parents: “I am listening. Tell me what is going on.”
Now you are exposing deep injuries behind anger, and this is the part that you can help fix both relationship and behavior.
5. ‘I hear you. I am towards you ,
Many meltdowns increase because children consider wrong or in conflict with the person they need the most. This phrase immediately changes you to reduce the defense and open the door for problems from opponents to colleagues.
Example:
Child: “This homework is stupid! I’m not doing it.”
Parents: “I hear you. I’m on your side. Let’s find a way to make it easy.”
Knowing that you are there to help change the tone completely. They will be more likely to meet you half the path.
6. ‘I have found you, no matter what.’
Mistakes can talk of shame. But when children hear this phrase, they learn that love is not conditional on performance or perfection.
Example:
Your child breaks a classmate project and calls you in tears.
Instead of giving lectures, you say: “I have found you, no problem. We will correct it together.”
This is the difference between fear-based compliance and real accountability.
I always tell my parents that if their default is screaming or threatening, no “magic phrases” will undo the deep pattern. But when you regularly protect your child’s dignity, make them feel safe, and follow through boundaries, listening becomes a natural result.
Reem Rowda A conscious parenting and a leading voice in the manufacturer foundationA step-by-step guide that helps parents to heal and become emotionally safe. He is widely recognized for his expertise in the emotional security of children and to redefine what it means to increase emotionally healthy children. Join him Instagram,
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