Are we also real?

I was always examining separate Relocation spots on the world, but I was not investigating much about my hometown. Now I just had to face it. As a person who had not been talking to his father for 9 years, although we had talked for a few months, I again blocked my father because I could not get rid of hatred for him within me. Kinda for my mother, I was reluctant and stagnating to her, and I blocked her with my father and I did not contact her and I did not regret my decision. I always felt vague towards him. But hatred is very intense and so much that, even with the best intentions, I am exploding at some point. And all this is derived from their emotionally derogatory parents. It is also examining us with our Sun Square Neptune, which gives me complication to inferiority, and Shani Square Pluto and Saturn Square Arohi that makes me feel unpublished by them and makes me difficult to related to them. Today I saw that this Shani Rising/Chiron descendant Paran is only passing under his hometown and says: “You can experience a painful range in your life under this effect. These may include a male parents, or someone who has authority over your life. Beware of feelings of despair.”

I was always questioning myself not to forgive them, because recently I started seeing my father as Saturn for the early years, but seeing this, they have already emphasized excited ideas. If it was already written that my father was going to happen like this, and I was going to happen and if we are implementing our parts on this life, is he really guilty of his actions? Is anyone guilty? So if someone’s destiny is already decided by better power, then are we real?

So it is like my mother and my father, as you are only random creatures who do their things with their already predetermined tendencies in this life. So is it real? Who is real?

See attachment 116956

I am real. At least, I am an avatar.
My parents were abusive. My brother -in -law, extended family and community were also derogatory. I am really what they all thought they hate, but none of them saw me real.
That is, for the first seven years of my life, my mother called me a dim and a crippled. I have never been. She could not just tell.
A large part of their misconceptions is that they were projecting me; And they wanted someone to hate and hurt and punish, as they hate themselves.
Now, I used to say, “I am my father’s daughter”, when I used to do the kind of rotten work she did. I noticed it was bad, and struggled to stop it. This is the difference- independent desire.
If you look at my chart, I have Moon Kanjankt South Node Kanjankt Neptune; And I have Mars square moon; Also Mars semi-class mercury. Some poor fools will see me, and think they discovered the prey- a crippled and a retarded. They would beat or insult with me, and I would beat them like a drum. I was tamasic. I suspected. I was hating. I can be finely or openly menacing- Samuel L. Think about Jackson. He was my father’s vibe- and I was my father’s daughter.
But I changed.
My chart says, if I am honest about it, that I should be a bitter, angry, violent, satirical person, with a tongue like a whip. But I chose to try. I chose to be good, and did well.
Your chart does not die you. It was not our parents who they were. He chose for himself.
This is simple, but it is not easy: every time I have the option to make, I try to choose what will be best for everyone. When I look well, I turn to it; When I see my errors, I get away from them.
It seems to be working. I am healing, and I am very happy.
I hope what I said, FVRKAN.